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I has a confeshun...
4 min read
I stopped arting because no one really seemed interested in my work. I never really got any comments, barely any favs, and I've had the same ten or so followers for a while now (you guys are great! 
). When art is your passion, and no one really seems to be taking notice of all the time and effort you put into every piece you make, it's highly disappointing, especially when you've spent 5 1/2 years in art school and it's supposed to be your future profession. I know I'm mediocre. If that. I'm not very good at faces or color theory or composition or poses. I'm not even consistent with the characters I draw. I guess, I just figured that stuff wouldn't matter because I figured there had to be people out there who were interested in following me anyway, right? And it's always been about followers/watchers. It still is. Hell, if I didn't care about watchers and favs and comments, I'd just keep my work to myself and wouldn't bother posting it at all, right?
Art school crushed my love of arting into a tiny paper ball and even now, post graduation [Fall 2014] I'm still trying to unfold it and smooth out the wrinkles. And between getting no love at school for the 'traditional' art that I hated making and no love online for the digital art that I did, it crumpled even more. Now the edges are all torn and the paper's starting to yellow and I'm wondering if it's even worth saving at all?
This isn't supposed to be a depressing post, lol. I just hadn't been on DA for awhile, and thought, maybe I'll try again. If you ask me what I want to be, it's a storyteller. Storytelling through art. A graphic novelist. The next Yuumei lol. I loves hurr. I won't lie. It frustrates me when I see other artists with skills that align with my own and they have beaucoup watchers and followers and I'm thinking 'how the hell are they doing that?' Why is it so important? If you watch Gumball on CN, I'd say that I'm a lot like Darwin and perform best with positive reinforcement. I'm writing a story on Fictionpress (or was, I've gotten awful at updating it) and every time I get a comment, it's like a breath of life washes over me. I feel creative, I feel motivated, because it's not just about me anymore. I can't let this anonymous reader down! She/He/They need to know what's going to happen next and I must indulge them!
I really don't know what the difference is between me and the other people on here that have similar skills to mine. Do they have more interesting content? More consistent? Do they comment more on others' works? Do they participate in contests? Is my work even more amateurish than I already think it is? I've spent countless hours trying to figure out the formula without having to resort to flooding my DA with My Little Pony fanart just to get people to notice me haha. I'm sure the more straightforward way is to just make better work. Make more work. I don't practice, and therefore never get any better, so how can I complain? I can't. All this isn't to say that I'm going to start flooding DA with more work, since I probably won't. But, I feel as though just being aware of this makes me feel better. I'm not going to hide behind my shame of mediocrity anymore. I'm here and I wish to create!
That is all.
). When art is your passion, and no one really seems to be taking notice of all the time and effort you put into every piece you make, it's highly disappointing, especially when you've spent 5 1/2 years in art school and it's supposed to be your future profession. I know I'm mediocre. If that. I'm not very good at faces or color theory or composition or poses. I'm not even consistent with the characters I draw. I guess, I just figured that stuff wouldn't matter because I figured there had to be people out there who were interested in following me anyway, right? And it's always been about followers/watchers. It still is. Hell, if I didn't care about watchers and favs and comments, I'd just keep my work to myself and wouldn't bother posting it at all, right?Art school crushed my love of arting into a tiny paper ball and even now, post graduation [Fall 2014] I'm still trying to unfold it and smooth out the wrinkles. And between getting no love at school for the 'traditional' art that I hated making and no love online for the digital art that I did, it crumpled even more. Now the edges are all torn and the paper's starting to yellow and I'm wondering if it's even worth saving at all?
This isn't supposed to be a depressing post, lol. I just hadn't been on DA for awhile, and thought, maybe I'll try again. If you ask me what I want to be, it's a storyteller. Storytelling through art. A graphic novelist. The next Yuumei lol. I loves hurr. I won't lie. It frustrates me when I see other artists with skills that align with my own and they have beaucoup watchers and followers and I'm thinking 'how the hell are they doing that?' Why is it so important? If you watch Gumball on CN, I'd say that I'm a lot like Darwin and perform best with positive reinforcement. I'm writing a story on Fictionpress (or was, I've gotten awful at updating it) and every time I get a comment, it's like a breath of life washes over me. I feel creative, I feel motivated, because it's not just about me anymore. I can't let this anonymous reader down! She/He/They need to know what's going to happen next and I must indulge them!
I really don't know what the difference is between me and the other people on here that have similar skills to mine. Do they have more interesting content? More consistent? Do they comment more on others' works? Do they participate in contests? Is my work even more amateurish than I already think it is? I've spent countless hours trying to figure out the formula without having to resort to flooding my DA with My Little Pony fanart just to get people to notice me haha. I'm sure the more straightforward way is to just make better work. Make more work. I don't practice, and therefore never get any better, so how can I complain? I can't. All this isn't to say that I'm going to start flooding DA with more work, since I probably won't. But, I feel as though just being aware of this makes me feel better. I'm not going to hide behind my shame of mediocrity anymore. I'm here and I wish to create!
That is all.
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Hola
1 min read
What's up y'all 
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It's My Birthday, Yay
1 min read
Tomorrow's my 22nd birthday (well, in 32 mins to be exact) and I'm not excited. At all. After I turned 18 birthdays just sucked. My birthday's in the summer so I never have friends to celebrate with (all of my college friends live all over the state.) So the highlight of my birthdays are spent with me, my parents, and my five year old brother... at a chinese restaurant (ok, so that was just one time, but it felt so lame.)
I tried to convince my mom and cousins (I've given up on including friends) to hike up a mountain with me. One cousin was down, but my mom and other cousins weren't feeling it. Isn't this supposed to be a day about me!
So anyway, I guess I'll just sleep in bed until it's over. Oh, and my car won't start, so I guess I have no choice 
. Lol, I'm always depressed on my bdays since they never go the way I want them to.
. Lol, I'm always depressed on my bdays since they never go the way I want them to.Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Multitasking and Worrying
2 min read
I'm doing way to much. Trying to do too many things 
. I'm writing a story and two webcomics... all totally unrelated...
. I'm writing a story and two webcomics... all totally unrelated...With the story I recently uploaded, I've made the most progress/investment. I love writing lol. And this story is the easiest for me to write. It flows out of me like water. While Ambrosial Squalor on the other hand is thick and lumpy like cottage cheese. There so many plot kinks and inconsistencies to work out and it's nowhere near finished. But I'm going to keep "concepting" (i guess i'd call it) for it because I really like the idea for the story. The second webcomic is just a minor story called Sugar about a cute little grumpy dragon, and I know exactly where I want to go with that; no plot twists or deep dark secrets. Just simple, straightforward, and fun to make.
But gaining exposure is hard. I've been putting my story up on Wattpad (it's an boyxboy gay-for-you type story) and I'm worried about getting readers. Often I worry about my lack of exposure here too, and in fact, have no idea how to get it. I just make stuff and put it up and try to submit it to groups but... it's difficult. It makes me feel as though my stories aren't interesting which worries me. It pisses me off whenever people say "you should be making your art for yourself and not other people anyway" because that kinda the whole reason I'm going to art school and getting this expensive fancy degree. This is supposed to be my livelihood, what puts food (and i'm vegan so shit's expensive) on my table.
Welp, no one will probably read this anyway lol (it's so tragic for me). But, to say the least, I'm worried.
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Hi there, Don't know me?
1 min read
You probably don't hahahaha... but really it's quite sad. I've started this page in addition to my other (if you see similar characters) in which my art style was.... shizit to put it plainly lol. So instead of deleting the crap from when I was just learning to use a tablet and new to digital art I'm only going to upload my newer stuff that I'm more proud of here. Not that I don't love all of my children :>.
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