I stopped arting because no one really seemed interested in my work. I never really got any comments, barely any favs, and I've had the same ten or so followers for a while now (you guys are great! ). When art is your passion, and no one really seems to be taking notice of all the time and effort you put into every piece you make, it's highly disappointing, especially when you've spent 5 1/2 years in art school and it's supposed to be your future profession. I know I'm mediocre. If that. I'm not very good at faces or color theory or composition or poses. I'm not even consistent with the characters I draw. I guess, I just figured that stuff wouldn't matter because I figured there had to be people out there who were interested in following me anyway, right? And it's always been about followers/watchers. It still is. Hell, if I didn't care about watchers and favs and comments, I'd just keep my work to myself and wouldn't bother posting it at all, right?
Art school crushed my love of arting into a tiny paper ball and even now, post graduation [Fall 2014] I'm still trying to unfold it and smooth out the wrinkles. And between getting no love at school for the 'traditional' art that I hated making and no love online for the digital art that I did, it crumpled even more. Now the edges are all torn and the paper's starting to yellow and I'm wondering if it's even worth saving at all?
This isn't supposed to be a depressing post, lol. I just hadn't been on DA for awhile, and thought, maybe I'll try again. If you ask me what I want to be, it's a storyteller. Storytelling through art. A graphic novelist. The next Yuumei lol. I loves hurr. I won't lie. It frustrates me when I see other artists with skills that align with my own and they have beaucoup watchers and followers and I'm thinking 'how the hell are they doing that?' Why is it so important? If you watch Gumball on CN, I'd say that I'm a lot like Darwin and perform best with positive reinforcement. I'm writing a story on Fictionpress (or was, I've gotten awful at updating it) and every time I get a comment, it's like a breath of life washes over me. I feel creative, I feel motivated, because it's not just about me anymore. I can't let this anonymous reader down! She/He/They need to know what's going to happen next and I must indulge them!
I really don't know what the difference is between me and the other people on here that have similar skills to mine. Do they have more interesting content? More consistent? Do they comment more on others' works? Do they participate in contests? Is my work even more amateurish than I already think it is? I've spent countless hours trying to figure out the formula without having to resort to flooding my DA with My Little Pony fanart just to get people to notice me haha. I'm sure the more straightforward way is to just make better work. Make more work. I don't practice, and therefore never get any better, so how can I complain? I can't. All this isn't to say that I'm going to start flooding DA with more work, since I probably won't. But, I feel as though just being aware of this makes me feel better. I'm not going to hide behind my shame of mediocrity anymore. I'm here and I wish to create!
That is all.